Book Smarts vs. Common Sense

My oldest and only girl is going to turn 7 in June. She was our first and by far the brightest of our three (so far). She excels so much academically. Reading on a 3rd grade level in 1st grade. Doing multiplications and word problems. Writing 2 page book reports. Things I didn't do until I was well into 3rd or 4th grade. And I'm no dumb chica, but she has much more book smarts that I ever did. 

HOWEVER, she is the typical airhead. Yes, I just called my 6 year old daughter an airhead. The Lord knows how much I love and adore her...but I swear she would go to school NAKED if I didn't remind her to dress herself. She is very independent. Not one to ask for help and always wants to do things her way. The only thing is....she literary FORGETS what the heck she is doing right in the middle of doing it. Is this normal for girls? No clue. I don't remember being so flighty at her age. She minds me of an older lady with a bad case of CRS (Can't Remember Shit). You know the type...I even have it on occasion. You walk into the kitchen to make coffee but forget why you went into the kitchen in the first place. Or taking off your shoes and making your way to put them away, yet you get side tracked and somehow they get placed in the freezer. Yes, I did that...but I blame that on my "mommy brain". Which I never had until my second was born. So I promise its not genetic. 

So I believe its a classic case of lack of common sense...which if you ask me, isn't very common. I've run across many who got the short end of that stick. But why my daughter? Seriously it drives me INSANE. How in the world do you help your children develop common sense or just to walk and chew gum at the same time without falling on their face? I'm clueless... Anyone have any bright ideas? I foresee my gorgeous girl becoming a rocket scientist yet, without the ability feed and cloth herself....HELP!

In Memory

Lola Grace "Bitty" Ellett

April 20th, 1954-April 26, 2009

Goodbye mama.

Sniff Sniff

It sure has been awhile. I'll try to keep this short. Mom is still on 100% ventilator. They moved her to another hospital called Kindred hospital that specializes in long term ICU care. She has kidney failure, heart attack, a septic infection and atrial fibrillation just to name a few that I can spell. It is still unresponsive to weaning her off the vent. We were basically told to prepare ourselves but hope for the best. 

Its just that once they treat her for something it causes other problems. Her amputation site looks good...but that's about all that is positive at the moment.

My screams for today are....

I'm down...depressed, bummed...pissed off at hospitals and doctors. Tired of trying to find people who give a crap enough to help care for my three while I go and visit my mother. Now that she is further away it will be even harder. I hate repeating myself to family and friends OVER and OVER again. Hate that people who haven't spoken with her in 30 years think now is the time to fly in and make their peace. I hate that in the back of my mind I think my husband really hopes that I make the choice to take her off the vent just so she will die and not live with us any longer and I'll not have to care for her. I hate the fact that she can't talk to me and tell me what she wants. I hate the fact that my mom can't hug me and tell me its okay.

I want my mommy....

Mom

She's been in the hospital since last Thursday. She developed eschar on three large spots on her foot. 8 months of the pain and wound clinic just did not help. The infection has gone down into the bone. They've been pumping major antibiotics in since Friday but its not working. Elevation has made some of the color around her toes improve but still not very well. They've called in two specialist. Both agree that the leg needs to come off right above the knee. My mom requested a second opinion, he should arrive sometime today. Although I don't blame her a bite for asking, I personal don't see a way to save it. Eschar also is appearing on the other foot.

I am living a horror. I have no idea what to do for her and she is not a strong person emotionally. I feel a little closed off, but I know I'm doing that to myself to keep my chin up. I have NO idea how I can still care for her after this. She being a very heavy woman...there is just no way I can help much without live in home care which we can not afford.

I feel like the worst daughter in the world not being able to be at the hospital with her as much as she needs me. But with the three kids, not really having family and friends that aren't working who can take them. I just can't be up there since its Spring Break and the kids are out of school. Ugh, its just a mess. I'm babbling....just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I want to say this to those reading. Take care of your body!!! Do it NOW. My father lost both his legs due to blood clots. He was a VERY active man all his life. But he smoked and drank like a fish and paid the price. My mother..never watched her diet or exercised much. Developed diabetes in midlife and didn't change her lifestyle. Diabetes WILL kill you. Don't put faith in medication alone...you yourself have to make changes early. She is only 54. So young..yet so old.

What I've learned about Boys

Growing up I was an only child to divorced parents. Same story that millions of others share. My mom was usually busy. Working or off to one of her auxiliary meetings or functions. I learned early how to develop multiple personalities. You have to, Barbie can't live in her dream home without friends, and My Little Pony would be awfully lonely in the stable without other candy colored four legged friends. It was easy. I decide who won the races or ate the best oats in the stable. I decided which Barbie wore the best clothes and got to go out with Ken. What was really hard though was board games. I never understood why people would gift an only child a board game. I'd play them though...two or three "personalities" at a time. Problem was, I couldn't decide which "me" I wanted to win. 

Now, all grown up and married I don't need those tag along losers anymore. I gave birth to more personalities than I can handle. Of course two of them are boys. I was scared to death when my first son was born. He was a BOY! I didn't know anything about little boys. What the heck did you do with that thing? Did you clean it? Have to make sure it was pointed in a certain direction? I was lost. Now two boys and 5 years later I know more about boys then about girls. Here are just a few I've learned along the way....

Firs thing I learned and learned quickly...Cover it! Before you get sprayed in the face...or better yet, they spray themselves in the face. They always look at you like YOU did it. You have to be a quick draw.

Second...boys are just dirty little monkeys. No getting around it. You dress them for church and somehow before they leave the bedroom, something in on their face, shirt and shoes. How DO they do it? I've decided that its a magnet. Yup, that's what the Adams Apple is...a huge giant dirt magnet. 

Third, boy are just gross. They are just wired differently than girls. In that faulty crossed wiring something makes them obsessed with their own bodily functions and the farts of others around them. I'm beginning to think being called a poopy head is an endearment.

Fourth....they already know their ancestor great great great great great great great great great great and so on Grand pappy Ugh-Unga Bunga invented the wheel...and still millions of generations later appreciate that invention. Anything with a wheel is to be rolled, driven, crashed, and raced. This last well until adulthood when loads of money gets thrown into a set of wheels. 

And then...there is the mother. All boys are mamas boys. Sorry, its just a fact. There is nothing in this world that is better than a mama....that is...until they reach the teen years and discover the shower soap. Then if their mama is still number one...I think therapy is needed. It's those boys that end up being 40 year old basement dwellers

And last...if that boy has a brother...there is a bond between brothers that nothing can break. It makes all that faulty wiring and dirty habits not matter. They strangle each other one moment then 2 seconds later would kill a rabid tiger to protect the other. Someone to dig holes with,build forts with, squash caterpillars with, talk shop, trucks, cars, and wheels...someone to beat up, someone to share popcorn with...

With all their faults and habits, I wouldn't trade them in for anything in the world...not even more girls. Now GIRLS have problems of their own...especially those with two little brothers. But that's another post.

 

Screams!

SCREAMS:

MY HUSBAND BOUGHT OUR 5 YEAR OLD SON HIS OWN TRUCK! A 68' FORD! Okay, okay, it barely runs, needs a major paint job, and a little body work but COME ON. He says it will be something for him to learn on and a way to bond together. 

Okay, maybe it sounds like a good idea. But wait...I foresee a curious boy going to try and DRIVE this truck that his father says is his.....I'm scared to death. I've been promised the battery will be taken out while John is not around and the wheels blocked. Not sure that is good enough for me. I'm paranoid. 

Ryan's also been promised it will be a 100% finished classic when they are done. Hopefully that won't take 20 years. 

Not much really going on here lately other than the truck which will arrive on Sunday. Ryan finally got his appointment to spend the night with the sleep center on the 14th. He seems pretty excited about it. Choose his daddy to stay with him. 

Just a few crafts I've been working on for Hannah. She picked out the fabric, but hasn't seen them yet. I can't wait to see what she thinks. Just standard pillow case dress patterns used. Also, bows to match. 

Tomorrow has to be better...

Not much sleep last night. I stayed up watching my scary shows and knitting. I finally had to put it down, I turned off the lamp, and tossed for a good hour before I finally found sleep. Then at 4:30 John woke me up telling me that mom wanted me to call 911. This of course scared the crap out of me. I went to her and found that she had fallen again. Poor mama. Her medicine has her all out of whack. So I do call 911...they come and leave. It's now after 5:00 a.m. After a hot cup of coffee I try to go back to sleep. When the kids get up for school, I could barely help Hannah with her hair, I was so exhausted.

I spent the day being lazy on the couch, playing with Mark and finishing up my knitting project and watching this crazy show called "Doctor Who"...Mark hid the remote somewhere and since I was so "SMART" to block the manual buttons from the kids, the channel stayed there all day. Seemed like a nice enough day to be lazy. 

Then the phone rings. It's the kids school. I answer thinking it was Ryan's kindergarten teacher wanting to talk to me about his hysterics over bugs. They are having a hard time keeping him calm on the playground. Poor bud thinks the creepies are going to haul him off and eat him. He loves playing outside, but in order to do so he has to layer his clothes and socks like battle armor so the "bugs" don't get him. I swear he is going to expire from heat stroke this summer in 100 degree weather wearing sweat pants, a sweater, long socks, a toboggan and boots to go play "farmer Bubbie" in the front yard. 

Well, its not his teacher. Its the assistant principle. Of course the worst runs through your mind. Deathly illness, forgot to wear clean underwear...but you don't expect a behavioral issue. That that it was. Ryan had got written up on the bus for hitting another child who was bullying him. Had he tattled on the boy instead he would have not gotten in trouble. Ryan admitted to hitting him but that is all the principle could get from him stating that his story changes. Well of course it does you nit wit. If you had looked into his file you may learn a little bit more about him. He can't tell you his last thought, let alone what happened on the bus yesterday. His delays make the normal 5 year old selective memory a thousand times worse. 

We will call this boy Micheal. I then asked if this other boys name was Micheal. Of course it was. The same 3rd grader who has been bullying kindergartners. Then the bad mother rears her ugly head and for a second I had pride in my son. He knocked this bully down a peg or two. Stood up for all 5 year old who have suffered from being called a poopoo head or a stupid dung hole all year. Not only that but he has really taken to pointing out all Ryan's faults to the school bus. His stuttering and other speech imperfections, tics and sensory overloads. I was glad he stood up for himself. 

Then that second passed and utter embarrassment over flowed. My baby hit another child. Of course we handled it at home...but then every now and then that pride comes back for a second. 

The other news was a letter from the school sent home. It was what we already knew...what we knew before Ryan started school. He is not meeting grade expectations and will have to repeat. It shouldn't have brought me down. I knew this already, but still you always hold on to that hope that it won't happen. Oh well, its not the end of the world and he will benefit more from repeating. We would have held him back and not started him until this coming year if we could have...damn IEP services. The system is not set up well for very young E.C children in our state. 

On a happy note...I'M A SUPER HERO! LOL...got this fun game from my friend Julia at Our Simple Life.  Hero Factory  It took my mind off the day. I've been playing around with it for an hour. I wish I really was a super woman!