Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tomorrow has to be better...

Not much sleep last night. I stayed up watching my scary shows and knitting. I finally had to put it down, I turned off the lamp, and tossed for a good hour before I finally found sleep. Then at 4:30 John woke me up telling me that mom wanted me to call 911. This of course scared the crap out of me. I went to her and found that she had fallen again. Poor mama. Her medicine has her all out of whack. So I do call 911...they come and leave. It's now after 5:00 a.m. After a hot cup of coffee I try to go back to sleep. When the kids get up for school, I could barely help Hannah with her hair, I was so exhausted.

I spent the day being lazy on the couch, playing with Mark and finishing up my knitting project and watching this crazy show called "Doctor Who"...Mark hid the remote somewhere and since I was so "SMART" to block the manual buttons from the kids, the channel stayed there all day. Seemed like a nice enough day to be lazy. 

Then the phone rings. It's the kids school. I answer thinking it was Ryan's kindergarten teacher wanting to talk to me about his hysterics over bugs. They are having a hard time keeping him calm on the playground. Poor bud thinks the creepies are going to haul him off and eat him. He loves playing outside, but in order to do so he has to layer his clothes and socks like battle armor so the "bugs" don't get him. I swear he is going to expire from heat stroke this summer in 100 degree weather wearing sweat pants, a sweater, long socks, a toboggan and boots to go play "farmer Bubbie" in the front yard. 

Well, its not his teacher. Its the assistant principle. Of course the worst runs through your mind. Deathly illness, forgot to wear clean underwear...but you don't expect a behavioral issue. That that it was. Ryan had got written up on the bus for hitting another child who was bullying him. Had he tattled on the boy instead he would have not gotten in trouble. Ryan admitted to hitting him but that is all the principle could get from him stating that his story changes. Well of course it does you nit wit. If you had looked into his file you may learn a little bit more about him. He can't tell you his last thought, let alone what happened on the bus yesterday. His delays make the normal 5 year old selective memory a thousand times worse. 

We will call this boy Micheal. I then asked if this other boys name was Micheal. Of course it was. The same 3rd grader who has been bullying kindergartners. Then the bad mother rears her ugly head and for a second I had pride in my son. He knocked this bully down a peg or two. Stood up for all 5 year old who have suffered from being called a poopoo head or a stupid dung hole all year. Not only that but he has really taken to pointing out all Ryan's faults to the school bus. His stuttering and other speech imperfections, tics and sensory overloads. I was glad he stood up for himself. 

Then that second passed and utter embarrassment over flowed. My baby hit another child. Of course we handled it at home...but then every now and then that pride comes back for a second. 

The other news was a letter from the school sent home. It was what we already knew...what we knew before Ryan started school. He is not meeting grade expectations and will have to repeat. It shouldn't have brought me down. I knew this already, but still you always hold on to that hope that it won't happen. Oh well, its not the end of the world and he will benefit more from repeating. We would have held him back and not started him until this coming year if we could have...damn IEP services. The system is not set up well for very young E.C children in our state. 

On a happy note...I'M A SUPER HERO! this fun game from my friend Julia at Our Simple Life.  Hero Factory  It took my mind off the day. I've been playing around with it for an hour. I wish I really was a super woman! 


  1. Kendra--

    Oh, I have SO been there with my son, who is ADHD, and now 15, a freshman in HS. He's very bright, could write at 12th grade level when he was in grade 5 (if he wanted to), read The Hobbit to himself at age 5, but has NEVER gotten good grades, so has never been eligible for any of the "academically gifted" enrichment programs.

    We thought he was going to repeat at least a couple of times.

    When I really thought I would go insane was 6th grade-- first year in middle school. As if it were not enough that I was going through a horrendous divorce, and awful financial problems, the school was calling me everyday about something Stefan had done, or not done. It seemed like they were on a campaign to see how bad they could make me feel about my son and how upset they could make me about his future.

    We put him in therapy, paid $$$$ to get him tested and diagnosed ADHD, got him on Concerta, got the school to write an IEP for him, etc., and things got better. SLOWLY. It is still up and down. He FAILED his freshman seminar, I just learned. I've had to learn that it is HIS life, HIS issue, not mine, and to let him suffer the consequences for the choices he makes.

    Long story short: Stefan is not academically inclined, but he is one of the most brilliant, kindest, sweetest, most loving people on earth. When his group's project got eaten by the school's computer, he was the one that said "I'll key it all back in." He went to choir camp this year not as a camper, but as a chaperone, and all the boys loved him and recognized his leadership skills. He was always the kid at daycare that volunteered to push the babies in the swings. And he is very, very creative: does graphic design, has his own comic book series (focusing on political satire), is a fantastic singer; just created his own rock band and he does the website, marketing, recruited all the members and coordinates all the rehearsals and is teaching himself to play bass guitar, and is also the group's "composer".

    My point is: YOU know that your son is an amazingly talented, wonderful person. School may not be his thing, but he will find his way in the world, and he's gonna knock everyone's socks off when they see what he can do. Don't let the idiots at school upset you just because your son won't fit in the stupid cubbyhole they are trying to put him in. I am CONVINCED that public school teachers are not trained in the best ways to teach boys. Instead, they treat them like defective girls. Sure, your son needs some extra support, and he may have some delays, but the fact that he is different from the others is a GIFT, not a bad thing-- as I am sure you already know. Don't let the turkeys get you down, Kendra!

  2. Wow! what a great comment have you got.

  3. What a hard few days for you. You have my sympathy for sure. I am certain you will meet the challenges and get through all of it with your son. Every child develops at a different rate and that is that!

    And you are a super hero even without your costume! Love the grocery bag. :)

  4. It may sound bad but I think it's great that Ryan stood up for himself. It's never OK to hit but I am glad to see that he took a stand. Bullies are hard to deal with. We had to deal with one at the beginning of the school year. It was hard on Ashton. So, I say WTG Ryan, just try not to hit next time ;)

  5. Karen and Kendra, join the club! My sister used to say and 'Its free'! I also raised an ADHD son, who I home schooled, cooked, cleaned, worked, and so on, and he turned out good and told me recently at 21 that I was a super it is all worth the hugs and kisses... I love 'Dr Who', lol, must have been BBC or Sci-Fi channel and I love scary movies too Kendra, you are so cute!

    I am tired today from not going to sleep until maybe 4AM and then the Indian Market Tour which you will see blogs about from 9 or 10 people that showed today in NJ. Nap time, nope hubby made plans to be in down South at 6:30. If you hear snoring all the way down south your way, its me, yep I snort too!